I can’t sleep for the devil is planning my catastrophe…
“
Goodbye 2011. Hello 2012.
HELLO! Though, no one really reads my blog but I know that special someone will never miss my updated posting. Hey love :) It’s been months since I last posted. And yes, once again, I’m losing all my vocabs and trying to get them back now, that is, if it works.. :( My last posting was really, really saddening and I gotta wrap everything that had happened for the past few months! This 2011 has been very very wonderful and I thank God dearly, and truly. Do you realise my playlist is filled with Christmas songs? I still can’t get over of this Christmas spirit, as this Christmas is very memorable. :’)
What are the wonderful things for the year 2011? First of all i can’t forget my RIT Prom Night. Yes, I got my hair done, bought my sparkling earrings and heels, my best red dress and completed with bloody red nail polish but nothing beats a perfect prom date that is also my loving boyfriend (; He was my first prom date and also the first to get me a corsage. *refer to the pic, hehe* He was my best accessory of the night, cause he made me feel good, inside out! And look at him, he’s all smart and very very charming. Uh huh, that’s my boyfriend..
We were wearing couple T-shirt which was his first monthsary gift to me hehe. *its pink, YAY!* The irony, we wore it on our 4th monthsary, HAHA! Owh well, we both look good in pink, right? Especially, he with the chubby cheeks!! Mwehehe! We did like mostly everything together. And he bought me chocolate cheeks cupcakes and another piece of Oreo cheese cake! *He wanted me to grow chubbier, owh well, his wish has granted! :P* Oh I forgot to take a picture of it, I’m so forgetful! Sheessh! :(( and btw, I ate it all 4 cupcakes at the same time! And the rest, he contributed his tummy for me hehehe :3
I don’t like the fact that every time I draw a smiley face, there are teardrops on the paper.. :’(
“
One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. Nobody knows what’s going on with you. How could anybody realize what’s happening? Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. But for you, there’s no difference in the days. They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it’s all gone.
I Miss You So ♥
I had been out of town for a week. And now its your turn. I didn’t know I would miss you this, BIG but like we said it’s a test, yet another one. The first week away from him. It didn’t hit me first. It went on slow motion, and slowly eating me up from within. Spent time with him later, cured every wounds of every inch of my heart and soul. Yes it did. Now, I’m effin’ longing for it more.Everything feels ain’t right, cause my heart whispers to me how it misses its another half. Dear Lord, tell me, how can respond to that, when my other half too, is at the other side..? :’(
His warmth. His touch. His skin. His fingers. His hands. His body. His eyes. His scent. His laughter. His voice. His arms. His shirt. I need no button to click nor press, within less than a second, I know I have recorded all of them. I have you in my heart yet wanting to hold you, feeling your skin and everything..this is not fair. Should I erase what I have recorded? I want to, yet, the man knows how to hide it. And I’m left, next to a wall, bubbling to myself, owh how can this man create such gravity that I can’t find a way to loose myself from his range?
As I’m blogging, ‘Home’ by Micheal Bubble fills up the emptiness that grows continually at the every angle on my sight. This is out of my league. As much as I’d like it to stop, I just stood still, barely moving a single muscle. Why? Yea, this isn’t fair. Still, that’s how it works. I’m just a girl, in a box, restless, needing a place to spill this out before this insanity takes over my mind. I was out for so many reasons. Yet the one on top of my list, I need to get distracted. Desperately. This isn’t an exaggeration. This is the diary of my heart.
There was a man, his back was similar to his. Nothing different with the hairstyle. And when he started walking, his image appeared on my mind. I thought it was him. So I walked to him and Mr Reality hit my door, he never sent a good message. I knew it. It wasn’t him. As I was passing this section, something, I knew it was something that smelled totally similar to his cologne. Walking around, and my hands rustled through the air, it felt empty since I usually held on to that long arm of his, or sometimes our arms might bump to each other, yet the slightest touch could cause such strong vibe. He’s amazing as he is. Yea that’s my man. :)
We texted the whole day. “I love you”, “I miss you”, we never got bored saying this. Just cause we meant it so much. Even up till now. If we could say it, we will say it out. Every ounce of chance we could get, wouldn’t wanna waste it, right? At some point, it got to the climax where I couldn’t stand any longer, and my best friend was there for me. Just a few sentences I said to her, I shed diamonds. I didn’t realise they were rolling on my cheeks. They just simply, fell off. I couldn’t recall the last time I have missed someone like this.
I know this guy I have in my mind right now, who might be reading this, I’m sorry I might sound like a crybaby, which I am right now, or I might be exaggerating this feeling but Sayang, I’m really hooked and extremely into you. Every little thing you do, they just amaze me, even when you stare into my eyes, I fall deep inside, little by little. The gravity you have, your heart is the center of the gravity and there’s no way I will be pulled away and get stranded in some foreign planets. You always have your ways getting me stucked with you.
Sayang, today is our official first monthsary. My baby baby baby, I love you. These three words, they are powerful, consume of three important things every human needs - heart, soul and mind. It’s so strong that it makes me and you fall for each other every time we look at each other, feels like the first time, ain’t it? It has only been a day since you’re gone. Yeah I admit it upsets me but I’m your skyscraper. So any difficulties that bring me down, I’ll find my way out and make it out alive, just like the skyscraper. And I picked my favourite verse ;
“Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground like a skyscraper” - Skyscraper by Demi Lovato.
Baby, it will be a week, and there will be more things that might bring us joy, happiness or our downfall. We may fight. Well of course I’m not asking for it but it has it’s possibilities. Yeah, we both will be pissed but I want you to know that no matter how pissed am I, I cant turn my back to the gravity, even Science says its impossible, what more to say a simple girl like me gotta say? But still, it doesn’t mean there won’t be fear between us that we will never lose each other, someday, something will trigger and we would. So I shall hold on to you, if you’re holding on to me.
1 day down. 6 days more to go. I will be waiting sayang. Within the time, take care of yourself, and I want no flirty fox sniffing my biggie’s ass. And I truly mean it. :) *I just finished putting you to sleep - 1.54am* I’m back! Hehe i was half way through and I’ma end this blog with my love. Sayang, once again Happy First Monthsary. I sent you a 10 pages text and I hope its enough as your morning text :3 I put my baby to sleep, yayy! Baby sho kiut with the radio sound :P hahaha! Aww *hug hug sayang* Aite, I gotta do something tomorrow. Stay safe and be safe during the journey. My heart will remain in yours too. Seek me in there sometimes, it’s kinda boring to see your blood capillaries and heart chamber everyday baby. Tee Hee! I love you baby, and I miss you, yet I’ll be waiting for the day you’ll be sitting next to me~
And I found him.. =)
There are so many things to say, but one thing’s for sure, he’s my man. Well at last, I get to call him, Mine. If I think back again, I’d never thought we could end up like this. I guess love works in so many different ways and yeah I too, believe love comes when you’re least expected. Everything that has happened isn’t what I picture earlier on and yet life has gotten more meaningful and colourful with you. I love you, Baby. You know who you are, Love.
How did it all started anyway? If you asked me, I’m not sure of how to reply. But I’ll try to type them up here since I have all the night. Okay, let’s see, the time’s 1.07am and its August 13. Aite, I’ll start now. Well my first impression of him was a regular guy with a carefree life. Everything bout him is so simple and his best accessories are his wide bright smile and squinty eyes. Hehehe..don’t he sound like a cutie pie? Back then, i prefer a complicated and messed up life. Wanting everything perfect and make sure everything goes my way and well-planned. It may not seem obvious but he shows me another perspective in life, just go simple and need not to impress anyone :) Yeah, that’s my guy. He’s amazing as he is.
Do you realise, this is my very first posting where I finally fill it with real joy and pure happiness? It’s been a while since I’ve been truly madly in love. I blame him for making me mad, madly in love with him. :’) Well I can say he won my heart in a hard way since I didn’t really pay attention to him, but he chose the hard way and for guy like him, is worth the keeping. He earned my attention, and he should be rewarded. He treats me like a Queen, then I shall make him feel like a King. No doubt, we’d rule the perfect Kingdom! And probably with fertile future generation? :P *coughs*
He has the gentle touch and the warmth I’ve been looking for in a guy and no ordinary guy can own it and I found one here, always stand right next to me. I thank Dear Lord for sending a guardian angel down here on earth for me. Right in his arm, I feel the safest. Everything he does for me, I mean the world to him. Everything he says to me, it’s like a magical spell and i never fail to fall for it over and over again. Funny that I never get tired of it. The best thing bout him is he successfully caught my attention by being himself. Yea, that’s my man.. (;
I don’t know how he do it but he knows exactly when I need a company the most. When I’m in my lowest point of life, my phone will beep, and there his name appears on my phone screen and such thing would draw a smile on my face. I will look like a fool getting over excited over a marshmallows :) Well maybe God has started plotting our love story with a lil twist. God knows exactly what I need. I’ll leave fate and destiny to Him, I put everything on the palm of the Father. I’ll just follow the flow as a saying goes ;
Once you let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong. Life works that way.
He approaches me slowly, he doesn’t rush as patience bears more fruit, he makes sure I’ve got what I need, he makes sure he treats me right, he knows how to cheer me up, he respects me for who I am, and most importantly he stands on his feet knowing what’s right and wrong, he stands for his right, he’s concrete and all he needs to be completed is simply, ME. And why not, he’s my other half. He got me so tangled into his eyes and actions, any girl missing tat part of him would be a waste and I wouldn’t want let the precious chance just go off just cause I wasn’t looking. And I know, everything I do with him, it feels so right. Just right.
It’s been a week since we confronted our feelings. #060811. And yesterday we were official. Wasn’t expected that but why not, right? I’ll let everything surprise me since it’s been a beautiful week to me. I don’t know what the future holds for him and I, but I hope we go far. With every of his presence, I smell future and every of his absence I’m missing a part of me. And it’s a blessing he feels the same way as I do. He’s done a lot for me, and it’s my turn too. I’ll definitely make sure its a give and take, no one is giving less and more cause we just superfly fine. We don’t wanna waste the love in the air, aite baby?
Dear Biggy my Baby,
Just want you to know that, I want to hold your hands and never let go, walk the path with me, the longest journey we can reach, don’t know how many miles and countless obstacles ahead, I want to face it with you. I love you and never get fed up to say this. Muah!
